The List

As I thought about what this article would be about I thought of Max Ehrmann’s “Desiderata”. It is said that wisdom comes with age and even though compared with other people, like my grandmother for instance, I have lived a relatively short life I think that I have bit of wisdom I could impart. This article, and I must insert a disclaimer here, is just a bit of what I think I have learned (and there might be at least one thing that I just thought sounded nice) that I thought I would share. I am not proclaiming to be a self help guru and you might have read some of the things on the list in some other form, but that means essentially the same thing, so read the list for the fun of: it if there is anything you’d like to take from it then thanks and if you think it’s a whole lot of hogwash that’s ok too.

So here goes:

1. Don’t be a “Stupid Girl”. Accept yourself, accept your body.
2. Laugh often, especially at yourself.
3. Don’t be afraid to act silly sometimes.
4. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Set aside some time each week to spend alone getting to know you, see how you’ve changed and whether or not it’s for the better.
5. If you have exhausted every single angle trying to figure out if the guy is the real deal and you are still in doubt, get his handwriting analyzed.
6. Your hands should fit together.
7. Dance with a guy before you have sex with him. Dancing together should feel right. Here right and good are not synonymous. Even if one or both of you have two left feet or are rhythm challenged and don’t know any of the latest dance moves it should feel right. If the dancing doesn’t feel right the sex won’t either. After all isn’t dancing the vertical expression of our horizontal intentions.?
8. Find someone who is generous. You have to give to get. He will be blessed for his generosity and as you are a part of his life the blessings will extend to you as well.
9. Have at least one really good guy friend. Girls are great and we need to be there for each other and support one another, but you can rest assured that if your guy friend tells no Mr. “Of the Moment” is bad news you can rest assured he’s probably right; after all he is one of them. Also you can safely assume that it’s not because he wants him for himself unless of course he’s gay and them you would be barking up the wrong tree anyway.
10. Find out what your passion is.
11. Be independent but accept help when it’s offered. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness.
12. If you write poetry don’t write poetry about just any guy. Just in case it’s good and you end up hating him and you can’t separate the art from your feelings about the asshole.
13. Playing pool gets easier after a few drinks.
14. If you feel like you are going to drop the glass you are holding while dancing in a club, perhaps you shouldn’t say fuck it and continue dancing, you should stop and put it down.
15. Read a lot. Read everything.
16. The universe has a way of always putting you where you need to be even if you had made a few wrong turns along the way. Getting lost along the way is not necessarily a bad thing as long as you learn the lesson.
17. Listen to your heart, it knows more than you know but also know when to listen to your head and not your heart. It can be a bit difficult at times but there are moments when both your heart and your head are in sync and it’s absolutely wonderful.
18. Good things come in all sorts of packaging.
19. Try not to make the same mistake too many times.
20. Be patient. Be very, very patient but know when to get up and dance. In case you’re wondering how you’ll know when to dance this is where listening to your heart comes in, just turn off your head if it’s getting too loud with naysaying.


(previously published in the Sunday Observer Bookends)