Grey's Anatomy et cetera

Izzie is having sex with Denny's ghost, interns are cutting themselves up and stitching themselves back up, giving epidurals and taking out appendices out of healthy people. Will Grey's Anatomy redeem itself before the season is out?

I skipped work today. I had an excuse. I was ill.

I have started to see a psychologist to whom i gave the link to my blog and this is perhaps one of the reasons I haven't posted anything in the last couple of months.

The love of my life will be back from Japan after being away for few months in a few days. A part of me is excited but of the course the part that's the reason why i am seeing a psychologist is afraid, apprehensive. I am going to be face to face with my feelings of inadequacy, of not being enough for him, of not being good enough. He does not ask me to be more than I am and truth be told he perhaps does not need more than I am, but I am convinced that he deserves more than ME and I still haven't been able to shake that.

I bought a car and the fact that I don't have the car with me and at my disposal is probably a good thing. That way it will sink in slowly. I can pretend for a while that I do not have a car, however, my payslip with the salary deduction will jolt me back to reality. And I might be homeless in a few days but I am having a little faith.

At this point i just want the year to end. I really dont see what the next 41 days are going to accomplish. I just want a new year, a clean slate.

Why is it so difficult to get past the past and get to now? I suppose it would be easier if you could allow yourself to get up close and personal with the past, but if it isn't all that great then there really isn't incentive to got there. So you build walls brick by brick each day hoping to close everyone and everything that can potentially hurt you out, but the only thing you really succeed in doing is closing yourself in, closing yourself off from the world. And this really accomplishes nothing.