It’s 8.05 p.m. Jamaica time and I am sitting at home finding everything to do except the assignment that is due tomorrow that I haven’t even started and don’t have a clue how to do. I had asked for an extension yesterday but the response to that request has not been forthcoming, so unless when I wake up tomorrow there will be an email in my box saying extension granted, I’m basically screwed. And if it is that said email will be there tomorrow, it would be great if I found that out about right now.
I have been sitting here going over the day’s events. I have thought about the lyrics to Linkin Park’s “Leave Out All The Rest”, the child who thinks he has an interfering parent who he just wants to leave him alone, how empty I felt today and the lengths one goes in the name of “love”. So, each one in turn:
Leave Out All The Rest is my song for this week. You know that in Jamaica no matter how bad a person was, nothing bad is ever said at the funeral (at least not in the official proceedings), well this is the song, in my opinion, that the not so great people would sing before dying if our culture was not what it is. The song is much more than that but you listen and decide for yourself what you want it to mean.
And to the child who wants to be left alone. One day you are going to wake up and that interfering parent is not going to be there and you know what, you are going to miss him. There will be a void that no one in any other shoes will be able to fill. In most cases our parents do what they think is best for us; give them the courtesy of at least listening before jumping to conclusions. And it does take them a while to get used to the fact that you are an adult capable of making your own decisions and dealing with the consequences. But they are always going to want to save you no matter where you are or how old you are.
I cannot think of a particular reason for the emptiness, but today was one of those days. We all have them, some of us worse than others. But we live through them even if we feel like we would not want to and then before you know it, it is tomorrow with its own agenda. So on to tomorrow.
Love is a wonderful thing. I have no problems with love, but what is it about being in love or it might just be plain infatuation that makes us act in the craziest of ways? Relationships have to be based on reciprocity. You give and I give. Not I give all the time and you take all the time. While I do acknowledge the need to not keep score in a realtionship, you do have to keep a tally of sorts. This is not to be used as ammunition but to evaluate if the relationship is giving you all you need and/or you are sacrificing too much. Granted, what works for one person may not work for another and given your maturity level, your self esteem etc. being walked all over may just work for you, but it shouldn’t.
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